Ritchie is Bitchie and the Perezzle Fizzles

Well, bitches, what Mathilda posts is true.


We dragged our fagulous asses through the rivers of brown slush only to see a bunch of models shrug their shoulders and hand out Diet Dr. Pepper (which is tasting a lot LESS like regular Dr. Pepper than it used to) as the Divine Miss R hid herself in a Dr. Pepper Van and awaited a "rescue" team that - YES - PHYSICALLY LIFTED her from the Dr. Pepper truck and into a waiting jeep-like vehicle. As they pulled away, burly security men walked alongside the car like she was the freakin' president.


And the biggest disappointment? Our favorite confidence man Perez Hilton said he was gonna be there. As some of you know, I heart the Hilton intensely and was more than prepared to get on down (even the slushy muck) and offer him oral.


Sigh. All I ended up with in my mouth was Diet Dr. Pepper.