American Idol 2007: The Pain! The Pain!

What's there to say about these first episodes of Idol? The misery seems more palpable than ever. Could it be that, faced with stadiums full of wanna-be's and — if the judge's publicity interviews are to be believed - the hugest collection of losers ever to parade past the cameras - that they're trying to spare some people heartache by scaring them away from auditions?

And speaking of "scary" and American Idol Has anyone checked out Kat McPhee's album preview on AOL's First Listen? Judge for yourselves, but I was a huge McPhee Phan last year and even I would rate these efforts as obnoxiously shiteous. But congrats on taking a page out of Tyred Banks' book with the album cover photo. (Soon they're gonna start attaching special strips of fabric to dresses for pulling them down over your crotch in spread-eagle publicity photos - there will be an entire episode of Project Runway dedicated to it!)

In better news, there are about four tracks on FANTASIA worth stepping in from the ledge for, and newly-Globed Jennifer Hudson's album is on its way! I couldn't really care less about the other releases from past contestants - anyone out there give half a shit about Daughtry's phenomenal success, Taylor's aural geritol or Pickler's putresence?