The first ever installment of Dolly Sez!

Well kiddies we have a first question and I just can't wait to start answerin' them as they start flyin' outta yo' asses! Today's lucky lady is Ginger Snaps with her sorrowful diiiiilema:

"What do you do when your shitty boyfriend (who's not even your real boyfriend cuz he's so desperately afraid of commitment that he insists on leaving your hanging) goes away for a week and you miss him like crazy the whole EN-tire time and then he comes back and less than two days later he's being nasty to you on your way out the door in the morning because he's mad at his cell phone provider for making it hard to send pictures from his phone?"

Ohhhh weeee looks like what we got here is a case of Shitass Boyfriend. This man of yours is just standin' in the You Gonna Get Knocked The Fuck Out Line. Chillies: I only advocate domestic violence when its absolutely necessary or when I get a new cast iron skillet that I have a hankerin' to break in. Ginger, get your skillet, girl. Bein' scared of commitment is something a runin' in a many a fagola's blood. You gots to put the leeches on it to get it out! Drain the bitch! Really, sittin' and talkin' with your man might work cuz it'll get ya laid, but I suggest a sticky dose of his own medicine. Maybe playin' hard to catch or pitch or whatever is the way to go!
On to the whole phone thing....we all know how frustratin' these life consuming gadgets are but hell, are they more important than human love and affection? Definitely. I love my cell phone and if it was actin' up I'd get real pissed too and probably throw it at you on yer way out the door to WERK! You got off easy, bitch! Imagine if it had been some sort of ipod meltdown where it would only play that one fucking song from Rent where they sing about minutes and seconds and hours and milliseconds over and over and over until your fucking ears bleeeeed the fear of commitment right out? Shit!
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Later, love and good luck,
Miss Dolly