Idol Me This: Ready to Call the Final 12

Well, nurses, I'm loving me some Idol. This year I even watched me those first few episodes when all the sad people sing to reaffirm my decision to never audition for this show, despite what I said when I was Drunk, Bitch. Anyway, we just saw the Top 10 Guys, and - I guess last week was some kind of fluke - but I finally can see a Final 6. And enough of the girls pulled it out like Mace on a Mugger last week to give us a good sense of them. So here's how we're gonna paint it, laides. Hope you like the shade:

For the BOYS, we're gonna go with...

Blake “Beatboxing his Way to Your Heart” Lewis
Brandon “The Backup Singer Who felt it for for Grandma” Rogers
Chris “The Timberlookalike who Made Jason Mraz Cool” Richardson
Sundance “Mustang Sally” Head
Phil “Leave Your Hat On, Please” Stacey
Chris “Who Jack Osbourne Ought to Have Been” Sligh

Meeting these GIRLS on the battlefield...
Lakisha “Look Out, Jennifer Hudson” Jones
Stephanie “Down On Your Knees” Edwards
Melinda “Shoulderpads” Doolittle
Sabrina “Sing the Song and as Many Other Notes as Possible” Sloan
Jordin “Gives Many Reasons to Stay Here” Sparks
Leslie “The Dogwalker” Hunt

Meaning we'll see these folks GOING HOME...
Haley “The Mannequin” Scarnato
Jared “Hot but Off Key” Cotter
Nicholas “Forgot the Words Last Year” Pedro
Alaina “You’ll Have to Get By On Your Looks” Alexander
AJ “So Gay It Hurts To Look Directly at You” Tabaldo
Antonella “Under the Jersey Shore Boardwalk” Barba
Gina “Idol Superfan” Glockseb
Sanjaya “Babyface” Malakar

POSSIBLE SPOILERS...
Sanjaya and Antonella, despite underwhelming performances, did huge numbers in terms of votes according to the pretty trustworthy folks over at DialIdol.com. That's indicative of the kind of "I don't care if you suck" fan base that keeps people like Jasmine Trias in this competition.

All right, Idolaters, tell me I'm wrong! You know you want to, you opinionated bitches...