Now that I've Got Your Attention. . .

Ah, kittens! Do you like my bright neon BITCH? I'll tell you more about it, but first, a word on a American Idol.

My dear sweet love, the gorgeous and talented KATHARINE MCPHEE is a survivor. According to www.gambling911.com, Kat is still second most favored to win, despite being in the bottom three last week. And to celebrate, I have decided to declare why I vicously HATE all the other remaining contestants (even the ones I kinda like) because they are not her:

1. Chris - I am over you. You are still hot, but you have bored me and the boredom has eclipsed your hotness.

2. Ace - You are no longer hot. You are such a cheesy, nose-singing mess that your initial hotness has actually become ugly.

3. Mandisa - DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFESTYLE AND MY ADDICTIONS. BITCH, GET AWAY FROM MY FACE.

4. Paris - I still love you, baby. I do. But LeAnn Slimes? Come on, nurse. And that hair? Who were we channelling last night, Bruce Lee?

5. Elliot - Looking at your mouth is a constant reminder that my many years of painful braces may retreat because my permanent retainer fell out. And then I will look like you. And people will feel the way I feel about you, but about me.

6. Pickler - I really do love that you are dumber than a post. I do. I think it's hilarious. UNFORTUNATELY WE ALREADY ELECTED YOU THE IDOL LAST YEAR, YOU CARRIE CLONE.

7. Bucky - You look exactly like the boyfriend of my ex-roommate who left me high and dry to move back in with him and pretend she was capable of being faithful. Oh, and you really are not so much with the singing. GREAT song choice last night, though.

8. Taylor - YOU ARE A HATEFUL BEAST. YOU HAVE TAKEN EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOOD OR FUN ABOUT YOU AND ABANDONED IT IN FAVOR OF BORING ME FOR TWO MINUTES A WEEK AND I RESENT YOU FOR IT.

This message brought to you by Art Gotham where you can see art like the BITCH above as part of TAPP FRANCKE’S CHROMESTHESIA.