How FAGULOUS were the EMMY AWARDS? Part 2

We continue our salute to the only TV awards show that airs on the medium it awards (for my purposes, the Golden Globes count as an "orgy" and not an awards show - and I'm sure the Hollywood Foreign Press would agree), with a big old thumbs up to the grandest old Emmy-winning bitch of them all — not, not Megan Mullally, though she's pretty close — I'm talking about the beautiful and talented Helen Mirren.

Helen has my favorite name of all time. This is because of my unhealthy fascination with Helen Keller. Gwyenth Paltrow's character in "Sliding Doors" is named Helen, and therefore I find the movie HILARIOUS. Because I always used to scream, "HELEN!" at anyone who wasn't paying proper attention. Lines like, "You don't have writers block, Jerry! You have Helen block!" send me reeling. So she has that going on for.

Also, the now infamous "Ass over tit!" comment got my motor going. I thought it was still pretty funny when Calista Flockheart repeated it a few minutes later, as well, but the sad thing is that you really can't tell Calista's ass from her tits. They're just bony, concave fleshbags. But, good job with the line, Helen!

Helen is one of the first actresses of all time to play both Queen Elizabeth I and II, which is just fabulous. And I can't wait to see her plot Princess Di's death in the upcoming film, "The Queen." Ok, she doesn't plot Di's death in the movie. But I'm sure she'll be ass over tit-tastic anyway.

But most of all, I love Helen because she was so great in Lee Daniels' Shadowboxer. When I interviewed Lee, he just had just so much warmth and love for her. It was totally infectious. Ever since then, Dame Helen has been definitively added to my love list. Kudos also on the stunning ensemble, and one of the funniest presentations of the night (featuring the very hilarious, very handsome Hugh Laurie). Congrats on your Emmy, gorgeous!