Dolly Sez: Anderson Cooper = Gay Mamma's Boy

Dear Loyal Readers,
I recently had an email from a fan askin me about my thoughts on Anderson Cooper. Well, I reckon bein that Vanity Fair has him as their upfront bitch of the month, its a perfect time for Miss Dolly to rip his head off and puke down his neck.
Now, I know some of you fags out there probably get all hot a bothered when the silver fox hits the TV every night, but lemme tell y'all somethin: Anderson Cooper may be as hot as the sweat on his ass when he works out, but he is turning into an overexposed spoilt brat. Have y'all seen the Oedipus complex photo by Annie in VF? (up on the left) I'm scared! By the way: Gloria honey, with all the money you got, put some shoes on girl - we don't wanna see your crooked ass feet! They all kina twisted up from too many years of walkin up and down Madison and Park Aves. This picture is nothin' short of fuckin weird.
Known most recently as the white boy championing the poor blacks of New Orleans which was wonderful, Anderson then broke down in tears and then into a sprint and ran all the way up to West Virginia to get the news ALL WRONG about the coal miners. (In a nutshell: Rejoice my brothers and sisters! THEY'RE ALIVE!!!Praise Jesus!...........just kiddin they're all dead except one). The problem I have with Anderson of late is that he runs all over the nation like a chicken less a head! Okay Anderson we get it - you can somehow be on location here, then on location there, and then on location again over there and then up there. On Tuesday night, as Miss Dolly sat in her pink recliner and watched Anderson on location at the Mexican Border, with all kina weird camera angles like one that shot up at his NOSE while he stood on a ROCK (he's only like 5 feet tall, ladies) I started yelling at the TV set and found myself rollin my eyes constantly. Why is he tryin so hard to impress America? What happened to the Anderson we knew and loved? Is he now a small black woman with grey hair livin in New Orleans? AC's ratings have dropped 36 percent.
Anderson, Miss Dolly thinks people are gettin sick of you doin stories from the opening of your tent flap. Unless you are inviting us in for a tumble in the sleeping bag, then get the fuck back in the studio where you belong and where the lighting is better. Do an on location next time a hurricane strikes and believe Miss Dolly - there will be one in like the next ten seconds so just calm the fuck down. Ander honey, we wanna see you get blown by a hurricane or maybe even by your obvious boytoy weatherman Rob Marciano: http://www.cnn.com/CNN/anchors_reporters/marciano.rob.html
Have y'all ever seen a weatherman's career skyrocket so fast before? Miss Dolly likes to think about what happened there. Anderbaby, if you want your ratings back, stop followin the crowd (and why would you wanna be behind Larry King anyway? I heard he's a farter) and do those inspirational stories that made you CNN's boy wonder! One more thing: Anderson Cooper will NEVER be fagulous in Miss Dolly's eyes unless he shows some of what Rob is gettin and comes out to America. Miss Dolly would love to know what you think about Anderson. Post away kids!
You may also wanna check out this hilarious AC blog. Love the "Anderlove" shit: http://andersoncooperblog.blogspot.com/
Love,
Miss Dolly