The Fagulous Blog!

Learning the Fags of Life!

Friday, March 17, 2006

Fagulous American Idol Poll!


Hey all:

So, here's how it works.

You list your top 10 in the comments.

For the person you name as #1 (your winner), they get 10 points.
#2 gets 9 points, so on and so forth.

We will tally the votes and present the fagulous pick for American Idol this Monday.

Keep in mind that this is NOT our favorites but rather how we think America will vote!

Go!!

To see how things are stacking up so far, here's M's and Ginger Snaps' Top 10 Predictions:

Ginger:
1. Chris
2. Kat
3. Paris
4. Taylor
5. Mandisa
6. Ace
7. Elliott
8. Kelly
9. Bucky
10. Kevin

M:
1. Chris
2. Kat
3. Taylor
4. Mandisa
5. Paris
6. Ace
7. Kelly
8. Elliott
9. Bucky
10. Kevin

TomKat: Officially 43 Months Pregnant











Is it just me or has Katie Holmes been preggers forever? Can't wait to see the Alien Baby (anyone still have that link by the way??).

UPDATE: THE VIDEO!

Here's a photo of the most irritating couple ever. If you were wondering why Tom seems so tall it's because Katie is actually riding her ex-bf Chris Klein's cock, and Tom is standing up getting a blowjob from John TraBOLTA.

You Caption It #5



Third Place, evelina69 said... Just another 10 years and she'll be legal!

Second Place, fagasini said... Nothing like Michael Jackson's Sloppy Seconds...

FIRST PLACE, ginger snaps said... Don't worry, honey; someday you'll be big enough to fit the whole cigar!

Congrats to all!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Well I don't think I've gotten to talk much about Family Guy on here yet, my lascivious little lads and lasses, but I thought, in honor of the simple little Catholic Saint's holiday that was re-christened as an orgy of drunkenness, I'd take a moment to give a shout out to Seth McFarland, with whom I am deeply in love and whose child I would most definitely bear if they could just perfect that goddamn surgery.

Was that wierd? Forget about it with this amazing take on Irish History and Culture by the geniuses who bring you the man who positively can do all the things that make us laugh and cry!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

You Caption It #4


Oh yes, you bitches were waiting for one like this.

I'm afraid of what rlrco will say about it...

If you want to make the top 3, post captions below!!


Third Place, evelina69 said... Hey.. Hey... If I slide it in now, no one will see! They'll just put us on a box of Wheaties!

Second Place, miss all beef patty said... Let's go surfin' now
Ev'rybody's learnin' how
Cum on Daniel V with me

FIRST PLACE (THREE IN A ROW!), fagasini said... Honey, who thought spicing up our sex life would get me so wet?

Guess the Bitch #4: The Answer!

Well, kids, great guesses, but you were all just a touch off... unless of course Miss All Beef Patty's Mom is...



... Pete Wentz of Fallout Boy!

Yes, apparently this handsome neo-glam rockstar in training was already doing a great job of inspiring our deep masturbatorial fantasties. And that was BEFORE he took some very private pictures with his cell phone and they got out! (Well, more to the point... IT got out... of his boxers.)

Pete, all I gotta say is, you could teach some of these bitches a lesson. You were in control, not some freak with a night vision camera (Paris) or the drug cocaine (Colin). And, as far as full frontal goes, it's pretty demure.

If you're interested in seeing more of what Pete has to offer, you can see (probably for a limited time) the entire... ahem... package by clicking here.

Guess the Bitch #5



Can anyone guess who this famous friend is?

It's America's favorite sweetheart from Saint Olaf...BETTY WHITE!

Congrats Evelyn & Ginger for guessing right!!

100th Post & Josh HOTnett!


Congrats to US here at Fagulous, as we just posted our 100 post!

To celebrate this historic day, here's a beautiful shot of Josh Hartnett from the upcoming V Men's magazine, out any day now.

Phew, and I was never a fan of his before....

Boy looks sexy with a lil' make-up!

Prince: Getting Off Is Soooo 1999


In a statement this week, Prince vows never to play 'Get Off' and 'Cream' ever again.

As you may or may not know, he's a Jehovah's Witness now and consequently has no personality or need for anything perverse.

This is what it sounds like when fags cry.

Guess the Bitch #4


Who's sporting this tittilating tat?

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Fag Fact #1: The Incredible Edible Britney


Oh my gosh...would ya look at those big saggy titties and the heft new figure...Is she going to be the new spokesperson for Jenny Craig?

Colin v. Nicole: It's On!



Apparently it's War!!!

See, Nicole doesn't mind having her coochie all over the internet/dvd players of millions of Americans (and non-Americans for that matter), as long as she's bringing home the big bucks.

Colin, on the other hand, is fucking crazy. First off, the video isn't all it's cracked up to be (the Fagulous boys saw it and were well, indifferent mostly), and secondly, it's too late now, honey. Take the $$ and hide the video cam next time!

You Caption It #3



Third Place, rlrco said..."I need more PILLS NOW! Damn it where is my husband? Oh shit, why did I get divorced."

Second Place, ginger snaps said..."Mama! Look at me! Half a bottle of Xanax and I'm still standing! It's just like you always used to say, Mama! You'd say, 'Liza! Call an ambulance!'"

FIRST PLACE, fagasini said... Mirror, Mirror...WHO THE HELL IS THAT????

Congrats F!

FAGULOUS TV: Bye, Bye, Dana; Hello, Kat McPhee!


Well, kids, I waited a bit for those of you who (like me) didn't get to see it Sunday night, but it's true. Dana is dead. Long live Erin Daniels, who played the Tennisbian with a sort of clenched charm even at her most ill. Fans of the L Word will not soon forget (or be allowed to forget - here comes the grief!) Dana or the look on Leisha Haley's face as she figured out that her best friend had left the court. But here's to remembering Dana and Alice at their best - having kinky costumed sex during Season 2

And as lesbians are dying over on Showtime, on Fox, the American Idol Finalists... well, frankly, some of them are dying, too. But not my beauitufl Katharine McPhee! After over an hour of performances that were barely ho-hum, Kitten Kat dialed up the heat with her sultry rendition of 'Til You Come Back to Me and from there on out it was an evening that did American Idol proud, with Paris Channeling Fantasia, Chris Channeling Bo and Taylor being his own oh-so-unique self.

Ace Young remains pretty and increasingly lackluster in the actual, um, performing department.

M's New Celeb Crush


I think you can see what kinda fag I like...

But more importantly, how do YOU think Adam B compares with Daniel V?

a) It's all about Daniel V
b) It's all about Adam B
c) It's a tie
d) Screw them both, gimme Jake G anyday
e) Screw them both... literally.

Love List #4: Gawker Stalker


As a regular reader of Gawker, I was thriled to see, starting this week, that with each Gawker Stalker, they now have a map and photo to follow the stars!

Score!

But I do have a question: Does a Kyan-from-Queer-Eye sighting on 23rd and 8th, in a salon, REALLY COUNT??

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Come Out, Come Out #1: Tranny Travolta


I am torn, nurses. I really am.

So, you have this actor, let's hypothetically call him John TraBolta. So let's say John did some pretty career-endingly gay dancing in some of his movies (Staying Alive, anyone?) and became a star in an era when being out was not nearly so accepted as it is today. Kinda makes you understand why he might be reluctant to come out of the closet.

On the other hand, let's say this hypothetical actor was also part of a dubious religious organization that does creepy things like rent the uteruses of former Dawson's Creek stars to affirm the heterosexuality of some of its members. Kinda makes you think he's a jerk for not coming out because of some narrow minded dogma, right.

So what do we do when this man signs up to play a role ORIGINATED BY DIVINE on film and ORIGINATED BY HARVEY FIERSTEIN on broadway and involves him dressing up in drag and being pretty much at the center of a counter-cultural phenomenon that sprang forth from the deliciously demented mind of JOHN WATERS. Do we applaud him for finally embracing his nature? Or is it just so jaw-droppingly ludicrous that he can wear a wig and heels and not admit that he likes to spoon with Jeff instead of June? Is it time to say, "Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are, Mister Trabolta?!"

Well, enough hypotheticals. John Travolta has been signed to play Mama Edna in the movie adaptation of Hairspray: The Musical. And I'm sure he has almost nothing common with the hypothetical Mister TraBolta.

Crash Is Trash: The Real Reason Brokeback Lost

Guess The Bitch #6


More like, guess the rumor on the bitch, but still fun.

This is Eva from America's Next Top Model (I'm sure Ginger Snaps can reveal more about her, as I'm not the most avid viewer), but there's a nasty rumor going around that she is in fact, secretly dating one of the following ladies.

Put your guesses in the comments.

a) Melissa Etheridge
b) Condi Rice
c) Santino Rice
d) Missy Elliott
e) Jada P-Smith

Stone Ready to Bare All...Again


Well, Sharon Stone will be flashing us some fish once again in theatres. I don't know if I should give her props being 48 YEARS OLD or if I should be disgusted. Should there be a point when it's time to keep the surgical stocking ons and act like a lady? Whatcha think?

You Caption It: #2


Go say something mean about Styx... I mean Nicole!!

3rd Place, rlrco said..."why don't I just put this fucking dog in the bag?"

2nd Place, miss all beef patty said...i think she is turning into this bitch from the dark cyrstal (accompanying pic in comments)

FIRST PLACE, fagasini said...Gucci Glasses: $300, Canal St Scarf: $4, Looking like a cracked-out Barbie doll: PRICELESS

Monday, March 13, 2006

Guess The Bitch #5


Who is this bitch related to?

a) Osama Bin Laden
b) Al Roker
c) Derek Jeter
d) Suzanne Summers
e) The Jackson Family

You Caption It: #1


Ready?

GOOO!!

3rd Place, rlrco...Star and Husband confused at Paternity Test: Star, "But I thought he was gay"

2nd Place, miss all beef patty..."our first fan letter not from your mom"

FIRST PLACE, evelina69...HER: Fucking assholes at Fagulous just won't leave me alone!

Congrats Evelina!!

where that fag at?


jc chasez was my favorite nsync-er, mostly because of his voice but also because he was the faggiest. this man is about to come out with another album this year. it is almost done and he supposedly just has some mixing and mastering to do. we can all hope that as this album comes out, so will he. apparently his luck with the ladies isn't that fantastic....

FHM Interview with Jessica Barton
Q: Being from Orlando, have you had any boy-band adventures?
A: I see JC Chasez from NSYNC everywhere. One of my friends made out with him at a club and went back to his place expecting it to be awesome. There were mirrors everywhere and, as they started doing it, he looked in he mirror and said 'Look how hot we are, Mommy.' She said it wasn't great.

miss all-beef patty is waiting right here for you puddin. blow me up with yo love wand jc. kisses bitches.

Love List #3: President Mary McDonnell

Well, nurses, it was a wild weekend as usual, but even wilder - and that's saying a lot as those who know me will certainly attest - was the finale of Battlestar Galactica.

Oh, yes, you bitches! Stop your screaming and moaning! I know Science Fiction doesn't exactly get the best rap, what with the preponderance of ridiculous costumes and plots that manage to be both outlandishly unbelievable and vaguely familiar (but then again, doesn't that describe most drag performances, as well?)

But Battlestar Galactica is none of those things. It's streamlined storytelling - in the best episodes, you can barely catch your breath as an audience member - that always finds interesting skewed angles to comment on oh-so-topical issues as oft-visited as opposing religious viewpoints, the legality of abortion and tampered elections. There's also a heck of a lot of rock 'em sock 'em action, and performances that are consistently impressive from almost the entire cast.

And there is no better example of that than our love list lady of the day, Mary McDonnell, who plays President Roslyn - elevated to the presidency from the lowly rank of secretary of education after Humanity's 12 colonies are nearly annihalated when their intelligent robots turn on them. Her craft is superb - her choices: appropriate, evocative, unexpected. Her range? Unbelievable. I love her grimly determined, sneakily plotting, smiling at fond memories, even wigging out with the giggles before her presidential debate. It's a tribute to her character that when they "miraculously" cured her cancer, I cheered because I had lived in such fear that her character would die. (Normally, I throw rotten fruit at such "miracles.")

So, now, as we bid goodbye to another truly spectacular season of Battlestar (with a season finale that took us an entire year into the future into the beginning of the Nazi-est occupation EVER!), we tip our stylish but weather-appropriate hats to the great Mary McDonnell. You, Madame President, are certainly worth fixing any election.

First Post Of The Week: Brit Hearts Brad (Circa '96)


We hear ya, girl!

We'd lick him too. Although I personally prefer Brad from the Fight Club era.