Bitch, Read #5: The Good Life

Though I have decided I am thoroughly not ready to watch a 9/11 themed film (sorry, Oliver), I have decided that 5 years (can you believe it's been five years!) is far removed enough from the calamity to embark upon an exploration of some 9/11 themed literature. The first on my list? Jay McInerny's The Good Life.

Yes, the author of Bright Lights, Big City is back with a book that starts on the eve of the day that changed the world. Partly a peek into the lives of Manhattan's wealthiest and not quite wealthiest, partly a love in the time of war story, McInerny weaves a story as complex as the post-9/11 New Yorkers who inhabit that.

Corrinne and Luke each find themselves vastly underoccupied. Corrine is taking time away from work to raise her children and supposedly work on a screenplay. She feels that she's glaringly inadequate - from her career to the fact that she had to have her sluttish sister provide a womb for her twins. Luke has gotten off the merry-go-round of high-stakes Wall Street investment to find that there was ultimately not so much waiting for him to get off, particularly not his adulterous, social climbing wife or his spoiled, drug-experimenting daughter.

But when Luke stumbles up to Corrinne covered in the debris of the World Trade Center and then they find each other again as they man a food station for relief workers, they both begin to fell less like their lives are over and more like they have their whole lives ahead of them.

Summarized like that, it seems very simple, but around both Corrine and Luke swirl lives full of all manner of drama. Most intruiging of all, however, is the way these characters - given an awesome opportunity to start over in the wake of tragedy - so fiercely resist being happy. The Good Life is worth reading as a tasteful portrait of a disaster that's hard to look at, and to hear the echoes of the questions that rang in so many New Yorkers heads in the months and years following 9/11.

Oh, and Luke's wife is a rich bitch who knows her fashion and her daughter is a total mess and Corrinne's sister is a total pugslut and if you imagine yourself as Corrinne during the sex scenes, you might just pop a stiffy. Well, after all that seriousness I had to say SOMETHING to get all y'all bitches a'readin'!

Caption It #36

Hump Day Humps #5: Madonna's He-Bitch or Britney's Baby Daddy

Dammit nurses! I need inspiration. I got a little bit since I is abouts to go see Madge on Monday and all. And I pit her up against Ms. Spearsa cuz I just felt awful for that poor thang durin' her interview. She is more white trash than havin' your uncle mow lawns for a trailer park...specific...that's right bitches...I am that gurl. So who'd you rather hump? The Guy that is Ritchie cuz of his woman and sorta his movies or Mr. Spears?PopaZao nurses, PopaZao! I mean when you gotta choose one to hump, it is either fancy sex with no air conditions, or dirty, white trash sex with a scruffy piece of shit dad. You know though, K-Fag has been with a sister, so he gotta be doin' somethin right? Right?

Star Jones is kicked to the curb by Barbara as Rosie rounds the corner and runs her over.

Dolly News Flash

Well, we all knew it was coming. It was like the 300 pound gorilla in the room. Or, maybe that was Star. Needless to say its been a wild week over in View land. Star Jones yesterday spewed yet more shit from her mouth that wasn’t planned during a disgusting hand holding ceremony (she interrupted the oh so important View banter yesterday to inform her loyal 4 fans that she was leaving the show). Well, today on The View Mrs. Wawa herself gave Star a firm talking to and told viewers that she wouldn’t be coming back. She then went on a screaming rampage and trashed Star’s dressing room and chewed Star’s entire shoe collection like the rabid Doberman she truly is. Oh, and by the way Barbara also said “We made you bitch and now we will destroy you. Die whore die.” Well, pretty much. Note to self: don’t piss Barbara off, get stomach stapled, marry a homo and plan a wedding in which you spend tons of money on a cake that you shouldn’t eat cause you’re a fat ass when you should really be looking for a new job before the D in the HOLLYWOOD sign falls on your fucking head.